The Middle, when you want to be at the END.

“In the middle I want to be at the end, at the end I want to be in the beginning, and in the beginning I want to be in bed.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

Struggles. I guess I should document them. If not for you, then at least for myself. When we do reach the end, sometimes it is hard to remember all the struggles we’ve been through to reach our goal. The struggles are necessary, they make what we are doing worthwhile. YADDA YADDA YADDA. That’s how I feel about that. I am beyond pumping myself up and at the point where I just need to kick myself in the ass. Stop with the excuses. Get your act together. Sit up, get a schedule, and get to F@&k!ng work! The list is soooooooo long though. The start of the middle. Yes, starting makes me want to go to bed. If I hide under the blanket, will this animation somehow magically get done while I’m asleep? I can wish. BUT why would I wish that. This is something I WANT TO DO. It is my dream. Things go on in life that will get in the way, hurdles, obstacles, to be overcome. And the strange part is that they will have NOTHING to do with the art!!! But EVERYTHING to do with the process. When I am done I will look back and say I can’t believe I did that, as I always do. I don’t know how it got done. But magically here is this thing I made, gave birth to, and I feel the afterglow of pride and accomplishment. The adrenaline rush.

But while we are in the MIDDLE, the struggle is real. It can be consuming to the point of cessation. This has been especially true for me and animation. You want it to be done, you’ve worked so hard already. Where is the reward? There is none, until the end. And even then…This is a low point for me. I feel unenthusiastic, lost and unmotivated.

So process…………..ugh….I’ve been picking away, did a rough sketch for a seasonal BG that needs all 4 seasons. So that’s something. and I’ve animated the title cloud sequence and am learning aftereffects, which I guess has also been a part of my de-motivation, not knowing how to do something quickly and needing to learn. BLAH! Learning is for losers! Usually I love learning, when I’m good at it. When you suck, learning sucks too. Awww that’s not nice to say I guess. But I don’t care.

Screen Shot 2016-02-24 at 6.59.27 PM

Screen Shot 2016-03-17 at 5.17.59 PM

I’m working on an Owl flight for the opening animation as well, and all I can say, is WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING??? I can’t animated birds and animals, I animated dumb human cartoon characters most of my life. It’s just gong to be HARD HARD HARD. I guess I should add something funny here, to lighten up and motivate, so Farts, Poop, something with religious leaders walking into a drinking establishment….end of funny bit.

SO here I find myself in the middle. Stuck in the middle with YOU stupid short film! Me and this film, struggling, I feel like Tom Cruise punching that horse-

“I do not wish to Fight Ye” *Punches this Short Film on the Throat*

OK Yes, I need to get this under control! The film will always have a ton to do, I need to go back to process. Process will never let me down. Process you are like a guiding star. I just need to go back to the basics. BACK TO THE FUTURE!!!! -I don’t know how that applies to this, but I think it does. 1.21 GIGAWATTS!!!!

So Marty, here is my new plan. I’m gonna friggin’ assess this situation, simplify it, and find freaking HARMONY, or watch a Dan Harmon show like Community. I know there is opportunity here, for me to learn, for me to grow and to get past these obstacles and become a stronger artist for doing so. I will get there, we are no where near the end. It means your future hasn’t been written yet. <There we go, BTTF fans.

out-of-clutter-find-simplicity-from-discord-find-harmony-in-the-middle-of-difficulty-find-opportunity

Ol’ Albert, my buddy. I am doubting a bit that this came from you, with that HAIR??? Dude, out of bad hair, find a COMB, maybe get someone to trim that stache, and tweeze that unibrow Brah! I think you missed an opportunity to look not crazy.

Why do you make me say that Albert??? You brought this on yourself. FINE. I will take the opportunities in front of me, as per my personal mandate. I will grow, and all that shit. and maybe the next post I will have something to show for it, aside from this negative attitude.


Follow my production blog MoxyFox.Wordpress.com for more production stuff about my animated short and my steady decline into the abyss of creativity.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s