Importance of Dreaming

The Illusion of Life, and other Evil Illusions

My HAND HURTS!!!  but it’s OK cause it’s sore from animating, so I’ll take a little typing break. It is good to be animating again, and being able to do what ever I want, well that is just the bee’s knees! I am creating only an illusion, the Illusion of Life! I want to make people feel! and then make them CRY!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA the ultimate goal! Like an evil villain.

OK SO I guess I should get to the animation. Here is the 1st scene of the film, still needs SFX!!! I am using Adobe Flash to animate digitally, and you can find out all about the BG’s in previous posts HERE.

I am going to be going for rough boiling lines, it is what I really love about animation, before the clean up. I remember watching Disney’s 101 Dalmatians as a kid and seeing the rough lines which remained from the xerox process of adding the paper drawings to acetate cels, used during thetime it was made. I LOVED THAT. I loved seeing that there was this figuring out, incomplete roughness to the “completed” film! And of course, the best evil villain ever: CRUELLA dE VIL.

Being back in production mode has made me feel great! Having one focus is important. There are lessons that I am learning through making this film that have nothing to do with animation or film making.  I am learning BY DOING that the PROCESS REALLY is the MOST IMPORTANT PART! From inception to this current realization of my idea I have struggled with things in my life, and this film has helped me. Likewise, I have struggled in life during this process, and that has helped my film.

What I think about now is would I give up the struggles for happiness? And I have to answer NO. It is the challenges in life that we allow ourselves to take on and overcome that make us stronger and make us who we are. I had a large setback in making my film where I just did not want to do anything. It was mind numbing. There was too much left. But I needed to move on, so I tortured myself, and even when doing nothing I continued to torture myself by thinking of how lazy and unproductive I was being. I had to give myself a break. Be kind to myself. I had to say it’s OK. It’s even a GOOD THING!

NOW. Having this to look back on, and being productive now, I see that I needed the break. I needed time. This is how all great art is made. Even if I don’t apply everything I learn, it will go forward with me in future works. This film isn’t the pinnacle it is only the beginning. Some things I have learned by stoping, and taking a break:

  1. It is good to stop and step away from your work. It is good to walk away for a while and come back with fresh eyes. It is important to experience the world, and let that influence what you do with your life.  Negative experiences can make you change your way of thinking. So that is GOOD!
  2. When you step away, and clear your mind-guess what-you get more freaking ideas!!!
  3. When you are passionate about something, you can get addicted to it. And too much of a good thing can make it horrible. Moderation. Everything in moderation. Not everything has to be fast.
  4. NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE FAST!!!! Slow down, enjoy. Do things lightly. It will be more enjoyable.
  5. Listen to your body. When you body says shut down time, listen! You are not a robot in a factory, you are an art robot, and art robots are fancy fuckers, who la-ti-da all day long, thinking 90% then making stuff 10%. It’s how it works. Don’t let the idea of artist be changed. People think we don’t do stuff for a reason, we are thinking and that can’t be seen. We are Arting 100% of the time. It’s a secret. Let the worker robots be jealous.
  6. Fear is an illusion. This was the biggest thing I learned. We stop, or pause, because of fear. or FEARS. Mine were -Can I animate still? Will my arm blow out on me? (Because I have tendonitis, another reason to slow the fuck down you maniac!!!!) Will this be good? Will people who don’t know the back story even get it? I can’t do SFX??? I HATE SFX!!!! (SFX=Special Effects). I’m not good enough. Why would people even want to watch this. I’ll never finish.

For #6. All of these fears are really ridiculous. REALLY RIDICULOUS. Like beyond ga ga goo goo here. I have been an animator for almost 20 years! Can I animate? Are you kidding me, kay-ripes Past Tara, what is wrong with you? It’s been 8 years since my arm blow out, how long will you be scared of that dumb dumb??? You do Yoga every day woman!!!! Of course it’s going to be good! it’s already GOOD, and You are going to make it even better. It’s hard not showing it to people, so will they get it? is a risk, but showing the animatic to some close friends has made me feel much better about it’s readability. So I just needed to get over show and tell. I really just don’t want to do SFX. So guess what, I’m going to get someone else to, someone that is an awesome artist! Why would people want to watch it? who cares, people watch BS on youtube all day long, people watch anything. AND I will finish, by taking one step at a time. If I take one step in the right direction, each step will bring me closer. and it’s not a feature film, it will be done eventually. The only way it won’t is if I stop taking steps all together.



Yeah Michael Jordan!!! Did you know Michael Jordan was scared of heights as a child, then he grew up to be 9.5 feet tall, and he was so scared of being up there so high! HAHAAHA, that sounds like a good children’s book! No MJ wasn’t scared of heights, that I know of, but fears are nonsense. Imagine an eagle who is afraid to fly, but it’s the best thing she could do ever! We get scared for a reason, so that we don’t do things that can harm ourselves or others, but when we have the feelings it’s good to look at them rationally after stepping back. I myself, unlike his Airness, I still have a fear of heights. I have a fear of being out of control. This is what the heights fear stems from I believe. I know that when you aren’t good at something you need to practice, practice, practice, and you will get better. This applies to everything. Happiness, Health and overcoming fears. Therefore, I need to practice remaining calm, when I am not in control. Should I do this up on the edge of a cliff, like this nutbag in the picture? NAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEWWWWW! That is expert level. I need to start at not putting away dishes, running or trail walking before I do work, being OK with stoping a project for a relatively (in the big scheme of things) short time. I need to practice the things I’m working on everyday, then I will get better at them. Being Happy is one of them! And I practice being happy by doing things that make me happy IN MODERATION!


So be kind to yourself Tara, and you be kind to yourself too person reading this right now. It is through a gentile light touch that we are happy,  doing things lightly. No force necessary. DON’T USE THE FORCE LUKE!!! The opposite in the dictionary for force, is weakness, but that is not true. The opposite of force is ease. EASE. Now imagine the Empire and the Dark side using EASE!!!


Hey Jedi’s over there, yeah you, doing stuff so hard! We’re over hear using the EASE. It’s ahhh like, kinda easy! but you guys wouldn’t be able to do it, cause you gotta do it the hard way, force and what not.

In reality, The Empire should have had the “FORCE” because they were like “Forcing” everyone to join. I bet if they had a great marketing team for the EASE, they would have had to beat people away with a stick!

Trooper 73

Ahhhhhh Emperor, not sure what to do here, all the people of Alderon are lined up outside the Death Star, they heard about the EASE! Heard it was like, easy and all that.


GUGH!!!! I friggin’ knew this Ease business would be too good!

Destroy Alderon.

These people are gettin’ on my nerves and being on my nerves is NOT using the EASE! I’m off to my mediation room. Get me a green smoothie. 


OK…well that turned out… similarly in the end, but you get what I’m saying right? What was I talking about? Now all I can think about is Han Solo…Hot hot, HOT Han Solo…so dreamy, with the eyes, and the angry, and the flippantness. Look at this dreamy dreamboat- he is TIED up here! I forgot there was a scene where he is tied up!!!! OH MA GAWD….


Ahhhhhh-HEM. So be kind to yourself. Do things that make you happy at a speed you can handle happiness at. It’s hard to enjoy things as they speed by. Smell the ROSES EMPEROR, would it have killed you to hang out with some Alderonians? They seemed hot? It could have been cool!


Follow my production blog or like me on FB for more production stuff about my animated short and my steady decline into the abyss of creativity.


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